[ It's actually easier to think about, to not worry about Carolina going after Ephemera, to not wonder if he could've done something differently or what's going to happen next. ]
[ North sighs, raising his hand enough to play at York's hair again. ]
I used to be a really jealous lover. I've caused problems in my relationships because of it. I was trying to be better about it with Wrath, because I didn't want that to happen again, but I still couldn't let that jealousy go.
I think losing her...it's changed my mind about it. Even though it's not like I could be with her here.
I told her to tell me if she ended up interested in someone that way, and she did, so I gave her permission. I felt like I didn't have any right to say no when she'd done what I said.
[ He raises his free hand and rubs his forehead. ]
It's weird because it sounds like it should have worked. But it was mostly all stuff in my own head going on.
Just because you gave her permission doesn't mean you were ready to accept it actually happening. Sounds like you told yourself you should be but weren't there yet.
[ So now there's that question. ]
You think you actually feel it this time, or just think you should?
[ York is looking up at him, his face bruised, his expression exhausted, yet that look on his face is just like his usual self. On impulse, North bends his head enough to kiss York in the center of his forehead. ]
[ He'd been counting on Carolina staying over, but she'd seemed very ready to leave so... maybe it's better to give her some time to herself. Hopefully she won't decide to go after Ephemera is all.
York smiles faintly, nodding against North's shoulder. ]
[ North stays right by his side except for the time when they need to make their way through the doorway, but even then he never lets go. When York reaches the bed he holds on to him long enough to lower him into a sit, then joins him on the bed. ]
[ It wasn't all bad, thankfully. Though the Dome was the epitome of a post-apocalypse. North pauses long enough to think of what to tell before beginning. ]
When Theta arrived, it was around the time that the Ravani took over the army, so he would go down to the training grounds and help plan troop training. He got a real kick out of doing that for a whole regiment.
The Ravani also recruited me as a lieutenant of one of the platoons. I was Envy. Got some sweet equipment working in that role. They had some really awesome futuristic lightweight armor, and hover cycles. We ended up overthrowing the existing government and instituting a citizens' government. Bifrons was still around, but had less power than before.
[ The names and titles are unfamiliar but York can figure it out from context. He hums, thinking that North must've been pretty at home as lieutenant. And on the good side for once, as far as he can tell. ]
Yup. Our squad colors were purple and black. I really wish I could have done that for longer.
[ It's said with a bald wistfulness that he didn't mean to let slip into his tone. He clears his throat. ]
Then the Ravani assigned me to work with Maine to guard the construction site to the port out of the Dome. That was harder. Wrath always told me not to let it bother me, since it wasn't the same Maine that killed me, but...
[ He's been continuously running his hand along York's skin, anywhere he isn't bruised, but now his hand slows. ]
Wrath and Maine were really close. They lived together.
[ Not that he'd ever been York's favorite person, but there's a distinction to make. The Meta wasn't their teammate. Maine wouldn't have hurt any of them on purpose. Not Carolina, for sure, and the Meta threw her off a cliff.
...he doesn't want to talk about this, to think about this, but he doesn't say anything to that effect. Maybe North needs to get it out. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ It's actually easier to think about, to not worry about Carolina going after Ephemera, to not wonder if he could've done something differently or what's going to happen next. ]
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[ North sighs, raising his hand enough to play at York's hair again. ]
I used to be a really jealous lover. I've caused problems in my relationships because of it. I was trying to be better about it with Wrath, because I didn't want that to happen again, but I still couldn't let that jealousy go.
I think losing her...it's changed my mind about it. Even though it's not like I could be with her here.
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[ York realizes it didn't work, but it'd be good to know. ]
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[ He raises his free hand and rubs his forehead. ]
It's weird because it sounds like it should have worked. But it was mostly all stuff in my own head going on.
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[ So now there's that question. ]
You think you actually feel it this time, or just think you should?
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Kind of both? I get the feeling it's something that takes work. Like building a muscle.
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[ He nudges North gently, his usual lopsided grin even more so with the swelling on that side of his face. ]
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That's good to hear.
[ York is looking up at him, his face bruised, his expression exhausted, yet that look on his face is just like his usual self. On impulse, North bends his head enough to kiss York in the center of his forehead. ]
You want to go get in bed? You need to sleep.
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[ He reaches up to rub at his good eye tiredly. ]
I just didn't want to be alone.
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[ That's without question—if York wants him to stay, he'll stay. ]
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York smiles faintly, nodding against North's shoulder. ]
If you don't mind.
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[ He gives York a little nudge to get up. ]
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[ He's not feeling weak but is pretty sure if he stood up on his own he'd fall on his face. ]
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[ He rises carefully and keeps his hands on York's arms to help him stand, too. ]
Careful now.
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Okay, I'm good.
[ He points to the room he's claimed as his (despite his lack of roommate) and starts moving, using North for balance as the world spins slightly. ]
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Want to lean against me?
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Being upright is overrated, I'm gonna lie down. How do you feel about being big spoon?
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That's more what I was offering.
[ He curls around York and starts running his hand up and down York's arm. ]
This good?
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Got any bedtime stories?
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[ It had sounded like a lot of that was pretty rough on North. ]
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When Theta arrived, it was around the time that the Ravani took over the army, so he would go down to the training grounds and help plan troop training. He got a real kick out of doing that for a whole regiment.
The Ravani also recruited me as a lieutenant of one of the platoons. I was Envy. Got some sweet equipment working in that role. They had some really awesome futuristic lightweight armor, and hover cycles. We ended up overthrowing the existing government and instituting a citizens' government. Bifrons was still around, but had less power than before.
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Envy, huh?
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[ It's said with a bald wistfulness that he didn't mean to let slip into his tone. He clears his throat. ]
Then the Ravani assigned me to work with Maine to guard the construction site to the port out of the Dome. That was harder. Wrath always told me not to let it bother me, since it wasn't the same Maine that killed me, but...
[ He's been continuously running his hand along York's skin, anywhere he isn't bruised, but now his hand slows. ]
Wrath and Maine were really close. They lived together.
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[ Not that he'd ever been York's favorite person, but there's a distinction to make. The Meta wasn't their teammate. Maine wouldn't have hurt any of them on purpose. Not Carolina, for sure, and the Meta threw her off a cliff.
...he doesn't want to talk about this, to think about this, but he doesn't say anything to that effect. Maybe North needs to get it out. ]
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