[ That's York's entire point. He hadn't walked away before. He did this time. Something's changing, and all he saw (besides Ephemera's fist) was someone in a lot of pain. He needs to work through it.
York hesitates about halfway upright, the room spinning slightly. He doesn't want Carolina to leave, but he's curious now. Carolina must have phrased it like that intentionally. ]
[Fine is a bit of an exaggeration, but she also knows that they'd be going around in circles again if she points that out.
She'd been going to say she had no qualms leaving, although the words falter. Her gaze shifts between the two of them, before she gives a blink. Things to come out of North's mouth? She wouldn't have guessed that.]
Right. Well, you know how to reach me if you need anything.
[ He sits up the rest of the way too fast and wavers. What was he even going to say? Ask her to stay? He's already done that... he can always go by her place later, water damage or no. ]
...thank you. I'll see you later.
[ And then she's gone, the door shutting behind her giving him and North privacy. She'd seemed confused by what he said, so he might have to explain later, but right now he's curious. ]
[ When North sits down York just leans against him, resting his head on the taller man's shoulder. That's better. He just has to not fall asleep on him like he did on Carolina. ]
It's less about seeing it my way and more about what you feel. But it's not trivial.
[ He relaxes against North, still feeling like everything's a little fuzzy. Those were some good painkillers. He almost doesn't feel the pain in his face anymore. ]
There's nothing 'going on' with me. We've all had way worse.
[ It's actually easier to think about, to not worry about Carolina going after Ephemera, to not wonder if he could've done something differently or what's going to happen next. ]
[ North sighs, raising his hand enough to play at York's hair again. ]
I used to be a really jealous lover. I've caused problems in my relationships because of it. I was trying to be better about it with Wrath, because I didn't want that to happen again, but I still couldn't let that jealousy go.
I think losing her...it's changed my mind about it. Even though it's not like I could be with her here.
I told her to tell me if she ended up interested in someone that way, and she did, so I gave her permission. I felt like I didn't have any right to say no when she'd done what I said.
[ He raises his free hand and rubs his forehead. ]
It's weird because it sounds like it should have worked. But it was mostly all stuff in my own head going on.
Just because you gave her permission doesn't mean you were ready to accept it actually happening. Sounds like you told yourself you should be but weren't there yet.
[ So now there's that question. ]
You think you actually feel it this time, or just think you should?
[ York is looking up at him, his face bruised, his expression exhausted, yet that look on his face is just like his usual self. On impulse, North bends his head enough to kiss York in the center of his forehead. ]
[ He'd been counting on Carolina staying over, but she'd seemed very ready to leave so... maybe it's better to give her some time to herself. Hopefully she won't decide to go after Ephemera is all.
York smiles faintly, nodding against North's shoulder. ]
[ North stays right by his side except for the time when they need to make their way through the doorway, but even then he never lets go. When York reaches the bed he holds on to him long enough to lower him into a sit, then joins him on the bed. ]
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York hesitates about halfway upright, the room spinning slightly. He doesn't want Carolina to leave, but he's curious now. Carolina must have phrased it like that intentionally. ]
I'm fine, North. What did you need?
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[ He glances at Carolina, then looks back at York. ]
Just thinking about our last conversation, the stuff about poly. That's all.
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She'd been going to say she had no qualms leaving, although the words falter. Her gaze shifts between the two of them, before she gives a blink. Things to come out of North's mouth? She wouldn't have guessed that.]
Right. Well, you know how to reach me if you need anything.
[As she moves towards the door.]
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[ He sits up the rest of the way too fast and wavers. What was he even going to say? Ask her to stay? He's already done that... he can always go by her place later, water damage or no. ]
...thank you. I'll see you later.
[ And then she's gone, the door shutting behind her giving him and North privacy. She'd seemed confused by what he said, so he might have to explain later, but right now he's curious. ]
Sorry. What'd you come up with?
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I just... I'm coming around to seeing it your way, is all. If something develops.
[ There are so many variables and unknowns, but he wants York to at least know that. ]
I'm not opposed to casual things, either, but with someone I'm close to, that's not as likely to happen.
I hope this all makes sense. It feels really trivial right now.
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It's less about seeing it my way and more about what you feel. But it's not trivial.
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[ He puts his arm gently around York's back. ]
This okay?
[ If it is, York can curl up against the hollow of North's shoulder while they talk. ]
I don't mean it's trivial in general, I mean compared to what you have going on.
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[ He relaxes against North, still feeling like everything's a little fuzzy. Those were some good painkillers. He almost doesn't feel the pain in his face anymore. ]
There's nothing 'going on' with me. We've all had way worse.
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You want me to keep talking about it?
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[ It's actually easier to think about, to not worry about Carolina going after Ephemera, to not wonder if he could've done something differently or what's going to happen next. ]
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[ North sighs, raising his hand enough to play at York's hair again. ]
I used to be a really jealous lover. I've caused problems in my relationships because of it. I was trying to be better about it with Wrath, because I didn't want that to happen again, but I still couldn't let that jealousy go.
I think losing her...it's changed my mind about it. Even though it's not like I could be with her here.
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[ York realizes it didn't work, but it'd be good to know. ]
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[ He raises his free hand and rubs his forehead. ]
It's weird because it sounds like it should have worked. But it was mostly all stuff in my own head going on.
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[ So now there's that question. ]
You think you actually feel it this time, or just think you should?
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Kind of both? I get the feeling it's something that takes work. Like building a muscle.
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[ He nudges North gently, his usual lopsided grin even more so with the swelling on that side of his face. ]
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That's good to hear.
[ York is looking up at him, his face bruised, his expression exhausted, yet that look on his face is just like his usual self. On impulse, North bends his head enough to kiss York in the center of his forehead. ]
You want to go get in bed? You need to sleep.
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[ He reaches up to rub at his good eye tiredly. ]
I just didn't want to be alone.
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[ That's without question—if York wants him to stay, he'll stay. ]
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York smiles faintly, nodding against North's shoulder. ]
If you don't mind.
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[ He gives York a little nudge to get up. ]
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[ He's not feeling weak but is pretty sure if he stood up on his own he'd fall on his face. ]
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[ He rises carefully and keeps his hands on York's arms to help him stand, too. ]
Careful now.
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Okay, I'm good.
[ He points to the room he's claimed as his (despite his lack of roommate) and starts moving, using North for balance as the world spins slightly. ]
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Want to lean against me?
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